Incition of fear, the last thing i would ask for. The engulf of emotions when i see the fear in her eyes, when she literally ran away from me was overwhelming. The moment in my life that i went berserk, behaving like a wild sasquatch; unacceptable, to the extent of being a catalyst of fear. I mean, i'm sorry i'm not known to be a master of emotions but seriously if i dont give a flying fuck, i could care less. But no, she was the world to me at the point of time.
26 months homies, its been that long. I've tried igniting small talks but to the very minimal. Paranoid that she might find me disturbing/annoying, i take my chances and hope to bump into her on the streets. Yup, on occasions that i chanced upon her, i'm either shunned away like a pest or ignored like a utter stranger. I looked over my shoulders trying to catch another glimpse of her and off she goes, galloping away. All these pricks my heart, but me, being me held my cool and waited for a better day, a better opportunity.
21st birthday. Was informed that she would turn up for my birthday party. I couldn't describe how estatic i was, almost as happy as a honeybee. But on the back of my head, i knew, she's wouldn't. Like a bingo, yeap i had 1 of the worse shitdays my memory could serve. I couldn't even spot her silhouette the whole night.
Why-oh-why am i holding on to this bat? Its this indescribable feel. Lost for words, cant find an adjective. She's not only a gf, she's a sister, best friend, confidante, soulmate, comedienne, the list goes on. She's not the garden variety girl you could pick off the streets. She's irritating, loud-mouth, un-glam, definitely not characteristics that a typical guy would yearn for. This brings me the instance when I received a mop to the face, yes a MOP to the FACE over a squabble. Not funny. Of course, happy memories of her and myself will always be embedded in me. It's really a pain to have the image of a girl you love right before you before you sleep every night.
Listened to Nelly Furtado fellas? She sang "Flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things comes to an end?" Lovers to friends, is this statement fiction? To me it seems so. I have to admit, till now i haven't got over her. Yes i want to spend my life with her hand in hand, but being infamously adamant, its out of the question. Contented just being a friend that helps her during her needs or even a distant friend that could converse normally. Am i asking for too much? I sound pathetic and desperate i know. phofucklai.
I've tried brothers, i've tried everything. Hitting the clubs, knowing other girls, taking up new hobbies, alchohol, name it i've probably tried it. Nothing works, image of her sits permanently in the living room of my heart. Yes she might be my first gf, but affecting me after so long? Either something is very wrong with me, or i need a brainwash? Blood transfusion? Heart op? Help me.
After all her attempts to make me detest her, despise her. Behaving like a typical bitch and all, just isn't happening. It just won't. You tell me why.
WHHHY. Why am i so smitten over her? She's not exactly hot. That disturbing nose and all. Maybe i got myself in a bad curse. HAHAHAHA. Reminds me of Blair Waldorf, minus the hotness.
Oh btw,
Hopes? Fuck the hope shit, G. If you're firm on your side, whatever hopes that i develop from whatever sources would never affect no shit.
After the huge wall of text, i really wonder why am I doing this, even if she chances upon here, she would not go past the first 2 sentences of the first parag.
Yeap here comes. I'm done trying. I'm done. The ball is now in her court, or rather ballSsSssS, plural.
Ya babe, if you're reading. Heard you're attached now. be blessed. be great in whatever you do, be it acadamically now or your love life, career in the future.
I'M DONE, I'M DONE TRYING. Just want her to be happy, she will be. :)
If you're G, scroll down. Else, wall of text ends here.
Heard your PC died, and knowing you. You will rather die than ask me for help. Ok now i present you with the online guide. Will pass the CD to YQ.
Let's Reformat!
- while your computer is still on, put in the XP cd
- Turn off your computer
- Turn on your computer. Your computer should go through a black and white screen called POST. Then one of 2 things will happen.
You will either get a message like this:
"press any key to boot off the CD"
or your computer will boot windows normally. If you get that first screen, quickly! press a key, and boot off the cd. If you DON'T get that screen, reboot your computer, and continually press the f12 key. You should get an option screen. Use the arrow keys to highlight your CD drive, and then hit ok. - If everything goes well, you should get a blue screen with white letters. Windows will load from the cd. This takes awhile. Once it is loaded, you will see this screen:
http://img114.imageshack.us/img114/5...nstall17xe.jpg - Hit the Enter Button.
- You will then be presented with a EULA. Press f8 to agree to the EULA
- Unless your previous windows version is really screwed up, you will get a screen like this
http://img465.imageshack.us/img465/8...nstall35nn.jpg
Press the ESC Key - Next you will get a screen similar to this:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c7...tipartview.gif
You need to make some decisions. I do NOT like having only 1 partition on a computer. You can make your files safer by having them on a separate partition. Personally, I have 5 partitions on my computer for various things, but at minimum I would recommend making 2 partitions. 1 of them should be the normal c:\ drive like you're accustomed to, and 1 should be for your important files/programs. You're free to setup windows however you want though. It's your computer.
No matter what you choose to do, you need to use the arrow keys and highlight the c:\drive
Press the d button.
Then press the enter at the warning prompt.
Windows will give you a second warning prompt. Hit L to continue. - Your screen will now look like this:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c7...eatingpart.gif
Press the C - Then you will be presented with this screen:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c7...eatingpart.gif
This is where you need to decide how many paritions you wish to have.
If you are unsure and just want to go the easy route, press the enter button. Now skip the instructions below in Purple, and continue on.
If you wish to create multiple partitions, press the backspace key and change the size of your partition. Don't make it too small! I would recommend having at least 4 GB (4096 MB) on the first partition, and more if your hard drive is big enough. Then press the enter button.
Then use the arrow keys and highlight the "unpartitioned space" Press the c button, and then type in how big you want the partition to be. Hit the enter key. You can repeat this process until you have as many partitions as you want. - Your screen should look something like this depending on how many partitions you have:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c7...gmultipart.gif
Highlight the drive you want to install windows on. It SHOULD be the 1st one. (c:\)
Then hit the enter button - Next you will get this screen:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c7...0/chooseFS.gif
Select "Format the partition using the NTFS file system"
Hit the enter button. - Your computer will format the drive. Wait until that's done.
Windows will setup. When you see this screen:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c7...r0/reboots.gif - Then you need to take out your CD.
- Your computer will reboot.
- Windows Setup will continue from the hard drive. Follow the instructions, and voila! Windows will be reinstalled.
- Put in the cd that contains service pack 2
- Install service Pack 2 by doubleclicking the setup file and following the instructions on the screen
- Once SP2 is installed, reboot, then install the drivers that you have found.
- Next, install the firewall and AV.
I wrote this entry without anticipation. If something happens, it'll be a bonus. Theres the thing wrong with me.
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